Friday, October 12, 2012

Embrace Every Part of You, Even the Goth One.

 The statement "I used to be a rocker" is a lie.

A truer statement is, "I am a rocker, but I'm also into indie, electro and sometimes, in a weak moment, bad, auto-tune hip-hop."

As late as last year, I would have told you my favorite band is The 69 Eyes, a goth-rock band from Finland whom I had the pleasure of interviewing back in my magazine days. But early this year, when I truly found myself, and discovered I was more than my music taste, I started dabbling in indie like The Shins and Santigold and found I loved every minute of it. I started identifying with happier, more lighthearted music as part of my "new, happy life." My iPod, full of goth, metal and punk, started collecting dust.

The stars of a SyFy series spark my rock revival.
But a blast from my rocker past surfaced this week. The 69 Eyes came out with a new album. I can't kid myself that they weren't on my radar, because they were. Well, I didn't sneak a listen of their new stuff until this morning, and despite convincing myself it was going to be a bunch of harsh, regurgitated cliches, I actually fell in love with the band all over again.

This happened this morning at work, and an hour later, I find myself face to face with the stars of SyFy network's hit show, "Monster Man." Because of our common thread of Gothdom, I'm talking smoothly and comfortably with special effects artist extraordinaire, Cleve Hall, and his daughter, Constance.

In fact, my initial icebreaker is, "You don't happen to like The 69 Eyes, do you?" Turns out, they were fans - and legit fans, who have as many special-release albums as I do. Thus, a rapport was born, and I spent many minutes happily yapping about my "former" years sporting piercings and black rosaries. It brought joy to me to recount these memories, and I felt the fire brewing inside that makes me want to light candles, turn on Type O Negative, and slip into the sound of my late teens. You better beleive I went back to my desk and downloaded that new album by my beloved Eyes.

Authentic living means embracing every part of you. It means divorcing yourself from the story, and instead, acknowledging that some things will always be a part of you. We all house both cobwebbed corners AND sunny great rooms, which combine to create the complete "us."

And that's wayyyy better than any "self" we can make up in a story.

It's official: The 69 Eyes have re-entered my life.

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